I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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