Jerry, you need to find god
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
