My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
