is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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