I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i already hear my dad disowning me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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