I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
