So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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