well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize