is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
