that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
