Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
