the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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