Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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