No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
