ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
