And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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