Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
