New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
