Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I want to be your penis for a week.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
