her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
