I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
