yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize