There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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