garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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