but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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