you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
