he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
