If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
