It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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