What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
