I wannas sexs uuuuu
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
