just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
