Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
