So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
