guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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