i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
