this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize