he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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