fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
