the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
