Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
