Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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