so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
