I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
