Sponge bath it is.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
