my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
