You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
