Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
