would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
