Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
