Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
