i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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