You can't special order awesome
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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