I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
