would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
