he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
