So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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