Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
