I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
