12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize