So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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